Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I'm a slave to your flesh

We're almost done with the moving...just need to finish setting stuff up/acquiring things. Last night we went to Ikea and picked up a couple of wardrobes (we only have one closet...and need a bit more hanging space) as well as a desk for Erin. We don't need too many other things, but the closer we get, the more frustrating the remaining things are.

We still need:
Lawnmower - I think I'm going to get an old-timey push-reel one...exercise, plus no gas/electricity consumed
A desk for me - I think I'm just going to get one from Sam's Club...$43 for a sturdy plastic-topped folding table (6' x 2.5-ish')
A bookcase - for our living room. Books + DVDs + CDs(?) + anything else need to live on this
Some kind of cable management - Our TV is on the fireplace mantle, while all the other stuff is on a piece of furniture next to it...we need to wrap those cables so they won't look so messy
Dining Room Table - This is one of Erin's pet projects. I never eat at a table (I prefer to eat on the floor, or while watching tv or something...) She just wants something small.
Bathroom storage - Another of Erin's projects. Basically, something with drawers/doors that aren't clear...so she can store 'ugly' things in. Mostly her stuff, I suppose...because I don't have much in the bathroom anyway.

I think that's really all. I will probably need assorted little things for my area in the loft (maybe a shelf or something to further organize my desk...I dunno)

So far, we've spent about $800 ($440 of that was wardrobes, though) so we're really not doing too terribly. We had originally set a goal of about $1000 for all our new furniture/stuff, but have splurged on a few things to get something that feels more sturdy/looks better. Plus, I can afford it, so it's not that big of a deal...it just hurts my bullshit money for now, so I can't buy anything that's more intended for "fun".

EDIT: Bought the lawnmower last night. Had to go to home depot to buy some drywall anchors, so figured I'd pick it up. Put it together in about 10 minutes. Might test tonight/this weekend. Still need to put together the wardrobes we bought two nights ago (it was too late last night). Hopefully we can get them adequately anchored to the wall (so they don't crush us!).

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

You're gonna die; we're all gonna die

The move hasn't gone quite as smoothly as Erin and I predicted. We had hoped to move everything this past weekend...however, the A/C wasn't working and didn't get fixed until Tuesday, so we had to stay in the apartment until Wednesday. We still have quite a bit to move into the house: my drums/guitars/tools/a few boxes...Erin's computer, some shelves (that I have NO idea where to put) and probably a few things I don't remember right now.

The house is so much bigger than I thought...I'm the opposite of most people, though: when I see a room empty, it tends to look smaller than when it's full of stuff. Maybe that's why I like to have my stuff cluttered?

We still need to get some new furniture, curtains, decide where some things are going to go. The house was built in 1937...considering that Texas didn't have television stations until 1948, it's safe to say the house wasn't built around that kind of idea...the cable comes into the house through the floor in a corner of the room that's nowhere near any grounded outlets...the TV's on the (fake) fireplace mantle and all the stuff will be to the side of the (fake) fireplace...with loads of wires going up the wall to get to the TV...

Bleh. I just ran out of steam on this post. I don't like moving or unpacking, and it's really got me incredibly drained. Add that to the bad stomach aches I've been having...and the fact that I feel kind of emotionally unstable...I'm just very tired lately.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I might bite my nails so I can't scratch my face

Sometimes I feel like a bunch of people all crammed into one body...like I have completely different consciousnesses crammed into one mind. I thought I was all over this bullshit, but I don't think I am yet; I really don't think I'll ever be 100%. All I can really do is just live with it, I suppose.

Enough on that.

Erin and I will be moving this weekend; my brother is going to come up on Friday, help us move on Saturday and we're going to hang out on Sunday. We may go to San Marcos (swimming in the river) or watch movies or something. I really like spending time with my brother these days (whereas it used to piss me off to no end). I think a lot of it is the fact that we've both grown up and really grown into our own skin. When we lived with my parents, they sort of expected us to both be the same...have the same interests, get the same grades, etc....only, they wanted the better of the two. My interests were always a bit more ridiculous, so they tended to want me to do the stuff my brother did; his grades weren't as good as mine, so they expected him to improve that.

As far as moving is going, Erin has packed lots of stuff. I really haven't helped all that much D: She likes packing, though...I really think she likes to take inventory of our belongings and packing is a really good way to do that. I'll probably pack most of my stuff tonight or tomorrow night. Honestly, I don't have lots of things that aren't already in boxes; it's just going to be a matter of taking those boxes and putting them into bigger boxes. We're going to need some furniture, though. Mostly desks and shit. I need a big folding desk so I can get it up the goddamned spiral staircase. Getting the drums up that staircase is going to be the worst part of it all, I'm afraid.

Kerstan also has a show on Saturday. I hope it goes well. He really puts a lot of effort and time into his music; but he's also sometimes prone to messing up his first shows and performances. If it goes well, that'll serve as a bit of a springboard for our band in getting shows (and also boost confidence).

I'm picking up hobbies left and right...maybe trying to find a way to not think about some stuff...partly because I have the time. I've bound a couple books (that I'm using as planner-type things...for notes and stuff), I've wound a pickup for my acoustic guitar, I'm designing what may be a really sweet keyboard (musical type thing)...in addition to all the other stuff I have been getting into. I really like pickup winding...it's not that expensive (about $10 per pickup), and they don't sound half bad. If I get a decent set-up, I'm confident I could make some really nice sounding stuff.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Every couple minutes someone says he can't stand it anymore

I had a bit of a mini-breakdown a couple nights ago. Erin was really helpful in the way she just listened to me and let me vent. I know hearing about stuff like that is hard, but sometimes I think I'm just going to explode...

If you've spent any reasonable amount of time around me, you've probably seen me when I'm recovering...or whatever. Aside from Erin, Amber is probably the person who has seen me in that state the most...but she didn't know what was wrong...hell, maybe she thought that was just the way I am?

Amber: Do you remember the time, senior year spring trip, in Dallas I was sitting outside of the hotel next to the water just staring out? I don't remember...did I give you an excuse for why I was doing that? If I did, do you remember what I said? I feel a bit guilty (and have) for not telling you about what was really wrong all of the times you asked why I seemed down or whatever....I feel more guilty about the fact that I would make things up (or make a bigger deal out of other things that were, conveniently, bothering me at the time). ---- Another example: do you remember the time, freshman year, Elliott wanted to go to Taco Cabana and I said I didn't want to go to a sit down restaurant...and he got kind of upset? --- Maybe you won't remember these cases...they really stand out to me because the first was when I was actually the most upset around you (that I can remember, at least) and the second is the one I feel most guilty about making shit up about...

Sometimes I feel like I don't get angry enough; other times, I feel like I overreact and get too angry. So many things have come as a result of this stuff that I really have no way of saying I would be better off without the feelings I have. Sometimes I wish I could just talk about it; sometimes I wish I could be strong and try to help other people...most of the time, though, I just feel like I should ignore it all and just cope. A lot of the time, I feel like I'm two people in one body...more accurately, I guess, would be to say I feel like one person halfway in and halfway out of one body.

If anybody comes to see me
Tell 'em they just missed me by a minute
If anybody comes in to our room while we're asleep
I hope they incinerate everybody in it

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

We found a house

So, she and I have been looking around for a house to rent, but we had some kind of unorthodox requirements:

1) area (okay, this one isn't that unorthodox): we wanted something relatively close to where I work, as well as campus (read: no Leander/Round Rock/far north stuff, etc)
2) space: I wanted a large enough area to set up drums/other music stuff in addition to setting up a spot for my computer/soldering/hobby work space.
3) space (again): Erin wanted a spot to do sewing/other kinds of things

We were primarily looking at 3-4 bedroom houses in South Austin, but she found this really neat little house. One bedroom, with a loft, in West Campus. Because I work in West Austin, it's really not all that far away from me; it's super close to campus, too. It's a blue-ish color with pink trim on the outside, so it's got some character. This was one of the top pics from out list of about 10 workable houses (which was pulled from out longer list of about 30).

Most of our short-list were being taken (leaving only the lower portion of the "chosen" ones), so we started considering this one even more. After debating it together, we set up a viewing of the house. The house really has a LOT of character. The street has tons of trees and stuff, the house isn't in bad shape (considering it was build in 1937) and it's all really nice. Really, everything seemed full steam ahead...until the realtor told us that the "storage shed" in the back yard wasn't actually for the laundry (those go in the dining room)...it's an apartment. It's a little weird that we'll be sharing a driveway with someone, but apparently it's a woman in her early to mid twenties...hopefully we will get along well with her.

The house is really pretty neat, so I'm hoping we're able to make it work. My only real concerns are the living room (it's really an odd shape...the bedroom is very large, so the living room is kinda narrow and wide) and the loft. I'm concerned about getting all of my stuff up the tiny little staircase, but it should be okay, I think.